I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
