It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
