I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
