I understand Curling. That high.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize