I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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