I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
