oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
