I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
two words...techno handjob
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize