i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
