i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize