so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
