I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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