Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
