He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So much Jack, so little girl.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize