I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
