I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
even my farts smell like vagina
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
