Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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