Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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