Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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