To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
