Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
