If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
