she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Randomize
