This beer is not sobering me up at all
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
