Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
