they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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