the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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