More tranny stories later!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
