some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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