You're completely useless in the revolution.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
