Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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