either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize