Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
