Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
