Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
