I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
