The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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