Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
