I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
