You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize