White coat. Heels.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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