Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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