all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
