no, he came in my armpit
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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