My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
