I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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