i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
