It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
