Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
