Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
