And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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