Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
