Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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