WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will pee on everything he values.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
