i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
