I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
