Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think my vagina is haunted
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
