One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
