i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
