Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
