She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
