no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
