Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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