Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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