im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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