is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
